Wednesday, August 31, 2016

The Worst Day of the Year

I am pretty sure everyone has a worst day of the year.  By this, I do not mean, 'the worst day of your life.'  Sometimes those two things coincide.  But they can also be quite different and separate occasions. 

For some people, 'the worst day of the year' is what most people would consider a good day.  Some really do not like having birthdays.  Some do not like particular holidays.  For others it makes ‘more sense’, at least from the outside looking in:  The anniversary of losing a loved one, or an emotionally difficult or tragic event in one’s life.



The truth is, I have had enough of those over the course of 40 years to nominate any number of days, quite legitimately, as “The Worst Day of the Year.”  And yet…somehow… every year…since 2003…it always comes back to this day.  The last day of August.  The last day of so many things.  And the first day of so many others.

The thing is, you never know when and where the seed of hope has been planted.  And even when we are certain of the impossibility of a situation, when all has clearly and irreparably been lost…there is yet hope, unseen as it may be.  The author of the letter Hebrews in the Christian Scriptures writes this: “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see” (11:1).


I wonder what she may have been hoping for personally and for her community…and I wonder what it was that she did not see.  And I wonder how it was, in the midst of whatever it was she had hoped for and longed to see, that she was able to be inspired by the Spirit to write those utterly rebellious, defiant, foolish words.


Perhaps it is because sometimes what matters most is not what we do know, but what we don’t know.  Were we capable of knowing everything…would we really want to?  I suspect the answer to that is something along the lines of, “not as much as we think we would…”  There are things that are very important to know in this life.  As a person who always favors having more information rather than less, no matter how distressing that information may be, I certainly get that.  What I need to remember, though, is that there are also things that are very important not to know in this life.  Sometimes it’s better not to know, because it is in the not knowing that we become more sure of what we hope for and more certain of what we do not see.


*           *           *


It has been almost a year since I tasted the first sip of coffee…in my life…ever…it reminds me of an old song by Caedmon’s Call, “I Just Don’t Want Coffee.”  For 39-1/2 years of my life, this song resonated with me…and for many, many more reasons than just the fact that I was not a coffee drinker…

…but now…I do drink coffee…in fact, even on the worst day of my life it has become, as we like to talk about all the time in my family, one of my “favorite parts of the day.”  Now, I do want coffee.  Perhaps I even need it.  And that’s OK.  Especially if my motivation is to share it with my world and my community.  And, it is. It is good.  And it is well.

But there is another old song by Caedmon’s Call that has endured around this place for almost as long, “Faith My Eyes.” And today…it is the song that resonates most:


As I survey the ground for ants
Looking for a place to sit and read
And I'm reminded of the streets of my hometown
How they're much like this concrete that's warm beneath my feet


And how I'm all wrapped up in my mother's face
With a touch of my father just up around the eyes
And the sound of my brother's laugh
More wrapped up in what binds our ever distant lives


But if I must go
Things I trust will be better off without me
But I don't want to know
'Cause life is better off a mystery


So keep 'em coming, these lines on the road
And keep me responsible, be it a light or heavy load
Keep me guessing with these blessings in disguise
And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes


Hometown weather is on TV
And I imagine the lives of the people living there
And I'm curious if they imagine me
'Cause they just wanna leave, I wish that I could stay

And I get turned around
And I mistake my happiness for blessing
And I'm blessed as the poor
Still I judge success by how I'm dressing


So keep 'em coming, these lines on the road
And keep me responsible, be it a light or heavy load
Keep me guessing with these blessings in disguise
And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes


So I'll sing a song of my hometown
Breathe the air and walk the streets
And maybe find a place to sit and read
But the ants are welcome company


So keep 'em coming, these lines on the road
And keep me responsible, be it a light or heavy load
To keep me guessing with these blessings in disguise
And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes


And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes
And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes


*           *           *

On this, the last day of August, 2016, I would do well to remember that what was true 13 years ago is just as true today:  A seed that was yet unseen, unknown, and undiscovered had been planted.  There is always faith, always hope.  And always love.  Because the greatest of these is always love

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